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Just Joking.

Pro Member First Officer
violentviolet First Officer

Johnny and Bob are sitting in a bar and Bob says to Johnny "I wonder if there is football in heaven"
Johnny says"I don't know"
so, Bob says"Let's make a pact...,the first one of us to die,comes back to earth and tells the other if there IS football in heaven....
Two weeks later Bob sadly dies. Crying or Very sad
Johnny is sleeping one night when he hears a spooky voice..."Johnny"..."Johnny"...
"Is that you Bob?"
"Yes it's me" replies ghost Bob.
Johnny says "well... is there football in heaven?"
"well i've good news and bad news" says ghost Bob..."the good news is that there is football in heaven..... the bad news is you are going to be in goal in 2 weeks"..... 😂
GO ON WHAT'S YOUR BEST JOKE????

21 Responses

Pro Member Chief Captain
tomthetank Chief Captain

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple''s house and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I really recommend it."

The other man said, "What''s the name of the restaurant?"

The first man strains his brow in obvious concentration and finally says to his companion, "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"

His friend replies, "A Carnation?"

"No. No. The other one," the man says.

His friend offers another suggestion, "The Poppy?"

"No," growls the man, "You know the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, yes that''s it," the first man says.

He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what''s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

Thats the cleanest one I know Embarassed

Pro Member Chief Captain
RadarMan Chief Captain

An L.A. screenwriter is driving out in the
country, when he stops his car beside a big
field, and takes a walk through the grass.
Finding an abandoned well, he looks down in it,
but can't see the bottom - so he picks up a
pebble, and throws it in. He listens, but can't
hear anything - so he sees a rock, and throws
that in. He still can't hear anything, so now he
looks around for something bigger. Walking a
short distance into the tall grass, he finds a
cinder block, carries it back to the well, and
heaves it in. While he's waiting for it to land,
a goat comes tearing out of the field and dives
headfirst into the well.

The writer is flabbergasted. He can't believe
what he just saw. He's still standing there,
dumbfounded, when a farmer walks out of the field
and asks, "Hey, did you see a goat around here?"

The writer replies, "Yeah, strangest thing. I was
standing here, looking down this well, when a
goat ran out of the field and dove right in."

The farmer scratches his head and says, "Wow, I
wonder how he got loose? I had him tied to a
cinder block."

***

A screenwriter is walking along the shore, and
finds a bottle. When he opens it, a genie appears
and thanks the guy for letting him out. The genie
announces, "For your kindness, I will grant you
one wish, but only one!"

The writer thinks for a minute and says, "I've
always wanted to visit Hawaii, but I'm afraid of
flying and I get seasick on boats. So I wish for
a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie reflects on this for awhile and finally
says, "I don't believe I can do it. Consider all
the work involved... the pilings needed to hold
up the highway would have to be incredibly long,
just to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of
the massive amounts of material that would
require! No, it's way too much to ask."

The writer ponders again, and says, "Well, I've
always wanted to understand women, too - I wish
for you to explain them."

Without hesitation, the genie replies, "So, do
you want two lanes or four?"

Radar

Pro Member Captain
Kareem El-Sadi (crosscheck9) Captain

HAHAHA!! RM, that second is great!!! I wanted to ask though, why is the person a screenwriter? What does that have to do with anything? 🙄 Or was it just random?

Pro Member Chief Captain
Jake (JarJarBinks) Chief Captain

the only humor that comes from me is when something happens then and im there.

my humor is not on demand it is either if your there or not but i am well known for making a joke out of an event. 😉

Pro Member Chief Captain
RadarMan Chief Captain

crosscheck9 wrote:

HAHAHA!! RM, that second is great!!! I wanted to ask though, why is the person a screenwriter? What does that have to do with anything? 🙄 Or was it just random?

Random, I've seen it many ways.

Radar

Pro Member Chief Captain
Jonathan (99jolegg) Chief Captain

😂 😂

👍

Pro Member Chief Captain
pilotwannabe Chief Captain

A man walks into a bar and says to the landlord....do you wanna hear a good "blond-girl" joke??

The landlord says...before telling this joke, I should tell that I am naturally blonde, the two bouncers on the door are blonde and the police chief next to you is blonde.

The man replies by saying...oh forget it then....I don't wanna tell it three times over 😂

Pro Member Chief Captain
Greekman72 Chief Captain

ROFL ROFL ROFL

All good ones guys. ❗ 😂

Pro Member First Officer
simon roourke (simon123) First Officer

yes i agree. 😂 sorry but all my jokes will be taken off, so not much point.
great jokes.

Pro Member First Officer
violentviolet First Officer

Edit Radar

Pro Member Chief Captain
Insight Chief Captain

Edit Radar

Pro Member First Officer
violentviolet First Officer

[quote="Insight"] Edit Radar ROFL ROFL ROFL

Pro Member Chief Captain
RadarMan Chief Captain

We have 10 year olds on site, please keep the jokes family safe.

Radar

Pro Member First Officer
violentviolet First Officer

RadarMan wrote:

We have 10 year olds on site, please keep the jokes family safe.

Radar

Embarassed

Pro Member Captain
Germán Campopiano (Oberkomando) Captain

Way too cool! 😀

Pro Member Chief Captain
Insight Chief Captain

Sorry Radar, I thought since there were no direct sexual references a 10 year old wouldn't know what I was talking about and just wouldn't get it.

Pro Member Chief Captain
RadarMan Chief Captain

Insight wrote:

Sorry Radar, I thought since there were no direct sexual references a 10 year old wouldn't know what I was talking about and just wouldn't get it.

No problem, you'd be surprised what today's kids know and don't know. They grew up with the internet, we didn't.

Radar

Pro Member Chief Captain
CrashGordon Chief Captain

Hope this doesn't get blasted for being too political. 😞

A man dies and goes to heaven. While waiting to be admitted, he notices a number of one-handed clocks, each pointing to a different number. He asks the caretaker, "What are these one-handed clocks?"

The caretaker explains that they are "Presidents' clocks", each pointing to the number of lies that President told while in office.

"Do you have clocks for living presidents?"

The caretaker points to an area where they are.

"Where is the one for George W. Bush?"

"Oh, that one", the caretaker replies, "We keep that one in the back room and use it for a ceiling fan."

Pro Member Chief Captain
Jonathan (99jolegg) Chief Captain

😂

👍

Pro Member Chief Captain
Insight Chief Captain

lol nice one Crash

Pro Member First Officer
violentviolet First Officer

RadarMan wrote:

Insight wrote:

Sorry Radar, I thought since there were no direct sexual references a 10 year old wouldn't know what I was talking about and just wouldn't get it.

No problem, you'd be surprised what today's kids know and don't know. They grew up with the internet, we didn't.

Radar

Before you read the joke,i heard it from a 7 year old....

What's the difference between a sewing machine and Dolly Parton running for a taxi?
The sewing machine has only 1 bobbin.

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