Airline truths

Pro Member Chief Captain
CRJCapt Chief Captain

These were sent to me, I don't know the source but I thought they were funny.

Airline truths:

An airline pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he is flying, and about flying when he is with a woman.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as a co-pilot, is a co-pilot who was once a captain.

Hand flying an ILS in a gusty crosswind is easier than adjusting the shower controls in a layover hotel.

Most crew meals taste like warmed-over chicken because that's what it is.

Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes wrong.. then one pilot gets the blame.

A good simulator ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.

Standard checklist practice requires pilots to read to each other procedures used every trip and recite from memory those needed once every five years.

A crew scheduler is the type who wakes his wife at midnight to carry out the trash, then sends her back out to let the cat back in.

An FAA investigation is conducted by non-flying types who take six months to itemize the mistakes made by a crew that had six seconds to do something.

6 Responses

Pro Member Chief Captain
Drew B (belgeode) Chief Captain

hahahaah nice one Capt.

Pro Member Captain
Karlw Captain

Very funny our freind is a captain that fly's the 777-200's and he should like these.

Cheers 🙂

Pro Member Chief Captain
Cheeks Chief Captain

CRJCapt wrote:

ROFL I thought the fireplug one was what a tree thought of a dog ❓

Pro Member Chief Captain
VegasFlyer Chief Captain


Pro Member Captain
Chris Morris (morris91) Captain

Very Funny 😂

Pro Member Trainee
Kristian Bowler (pilotkris) Trainee


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