The master of asskickness himself- HEINO!

All right, It's time I review my 2 newest Heino albums, which I recieved after school today. The first one, which happens to be playing at the time I write this, is called "Nur das Beste - Heino"

The CD jewel case is lordlike in itself, because, unlike the rest of the weenie music industry, Heino's CD has the words "Nur Das Beste" which roughly translate to "Only the best" etched in GOLD, AND TO BEAT ALL, IT'S ACTUALLY ON THE JEWEL CASE, NOT JUST ON THE JACKET!!! (Note, I am aware that it's most likely NOT real gold, it still beats all though). It also has a picture of Our Hero, wearing his kickass sunglasses, and clad in a awesome black tux with an awesome tie. Believe me, that tux screams for me to wear it to prom this year, date or no, I'm there, in that!

This CD opens with an awesome track, and if i advocated the downloading of Heino, i'd say download it, however, anyone that does so, I have a magical Anti-Heino-Piracy-Tool, or AHPT embedded deep in my brain, and i will immeadiately know your exact location, and in a matter of minutes, will torch your PC with a can of gas and a official autographed Heino match.

Anyway, this track, called "Alte Kameraden", from what i gather (I'm only in German 1) advocates the high points of having friends. It doesnt' get better.

Later in the CD comes the all-powerful "Wie ein Vogel im Wind", words can't describe the amazingness of this song, it's just like...WOW...wow...wow.

The CD closes with a medley of 3 of Heino's all time hits, "Blau Blüht der Enzian, Edelweiß, and Komm in meinen Wigwam"

The second album, unfortunately contains no GOLD PRINT, but is instead graced with Heino's autograph, and an awesomely kickass picture of him. It's sort of a side shot, mainly his upper shoulders and head, and he has this "Touch or defile my sunglasses in ANY way and you shall recieve my shoe graciously in your nose." And the minute anyone touches his sunglasses, besides him or his wife, I'll know, and I'll arrive shortly, and assist Our Hero in removing his shoe from his assailant's left nostril.

The title, "Kult-Vol. 1" is probably the most awesomest title i've ever heard! WOW.

It opens with Heino rapping about how his sunglasses went with him everywhere, and he even goes so far as to say that in mexico, when he was partying with some senoritas, they were the only thing on. During this part, his chorus goes "Whoo!" It's really funny to hear.

A highlight of this awesome CD is the song "Schwarzbraun ist Die Hazelnuss" I can't describe the awesomeness of this song either, it's like one step down from "Wie ein Vogel im Wind".

And there you have it, my modest review of my 2 newest Heino albums.

FINAL NOTE: Seeing is how Heino kicks incomprehensible abouts of ass, this review hardly does justice. So, to experience the full effect of Heino's awesomeness, you need to buy one of his albums.

ULTRA IMPORTANT NOTE: I do NOT have a weird Heino fetish. He's just my favorite singer of all time, and will be for probably forever. If i knew how, i'd marry into his family so i could call him grandpa, because he's so awesome, however, he only has a son, and, recapping a point I wanted to make, I don't swing towards guys. I don't believe I made it sound like I did in the review, but I wanted to make that clear. That scares Heino, and me. I don't have a problem with it or anything, so please don't go A-wall on me, i'm just a dude that listens to a German singer.