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The master of asskickness himself- HEINO!

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Fire_Emblem_Master
Chief Captain
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Joined: Oct 19, 2003
Posts: 2452
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:47 am 

All right, It's time I review my 2 newest Heino albums, which I recieved after school today. The first one, which happens to be playing at the time I write this, is called "Nur das Beste - Heino"

The CD jewel case is lordlike in itself, because, unlike the rest of the weenie music industry, Heino's CD has the words "Nur Das Beste" which roughly translate to "Only the best" etched in GOLD, AND TO BEAT ALL, IT'S ACTUALLY ON THE JEWEL CASE, NOT JUST ON THE JACKET!!! (Note, I am aware that it's most likely NOT real gold, it still beats all though). It also has a picture of Our Hero, wearing his kickass sunglasses, and clad in a awesome black tux with an awesome tie. Believe me, that tux screams for me to wear it to prom this year, date or no, I'm there, in that!

This CD opens with an awesome track, and if i advocated the downloading of Heino, i'd say download it, however, anyone that does so, I have a magical Anti-Heino-Piracy-Tool, or AHPT embedded deep in my brain, and i will immeadiately know your exact location, and in a matter of minutes, will torch your PC with a can of gas and a official autographed Heino match.

Anyway, this track, called "Alte Kameraden", from what i gather (I'm only in German 1) advocates the high points of having friends. It doesnt' get better.

Later in the CD comes the all-powerful "Wie ein Vogel im Wind", words can't describe the amazingness of this song, it's just like...WOW...wow...wow.

The CD closes with a medley of 3 of Heino's all time hits, "Blau Blüht der Enzian, Edelweiß, and Komm in meinen Wigwam"

The second album, unfortunately contains no GOLD PRINT, but is instead graced with Heino's autograph, and an awesomely kickass picture of him. It's sort of a side shot, mainly his upper shoulders and head, and he has this "Touch or defile my sunglasses in ANY way and you shall recieve my shoe graciously in your nose." And the minute anyone touches his sunglasses, besides him or his wife, I'll know, and I'll arrive shortly, and assist Our Hero in removing his shoe from his assailant's left nostril.

The title, "Kult-Vol. 1" is probably the most awesomest title i've ever heard! WOW.

It opens with Heino rapping about how his sunglasses went with him everywhere, and he even goes so far as to say that in mexico, when he was partying with some senoritas, they were the only thing on. During this part, his chorus goes "Whoo!" It's really funny to hear.

A highlight of this awesome CD is the song "Schwarzbraun ist Die Hazelnuss" I can't describe the awesomeness of this song either, it's like one step down from "Wie ein Vogel im Wind".

And there you have it, my modest review of my 2 newest Heino albums.

FINAL NOTE: Seeing is how Heino kicks incomprehensible abouts of ass, this review hardly does justice. So, to experience the full effect of Heino's awesomeness, you need to buy one of his albums.

ULTRA IMPORTANT NOTE: I do NOT have a weird Heino fetish. He's just my favorite singer of all time, and will be for probably forever. If i knew how, i'd marry into his family so i could call him grandpa, because he's so awesome, however, he only has a son, and, recapping a point I wanted to make, I don't swing towards guys. I don't believe I made it sound like I did in the review, but I wanted to make that clear. That scares Heino, and me. I don't have a problem with it or anything, so please don't go A-wall on me, i'm just a dude that listens to a German singer.
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Michael_H
First Officer
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Joined: Mar 18, 2004
Posts: 476
Location: B.C. Canada
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:38 am 

Who the Hell is Heino?

Laughing Geek







just kidding FEM.... Tee Hee
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Fire_Emblem_Master
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Joined: Oct 19, 2003
Posts: 2452
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:42 am 

Heino is a German folksinger.
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michlin
First Officer
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Joined: Oct 06, 2003
Posts: 468
Location: near Boston, MA
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:46 am 

Ah ha, so he is not a German Wayne Newton? He is more like Peter, Paul and Mary in singular form.
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Fire_Emblem_Master
Chief Captain
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Joined: Oct 19, 2003
Posts: 2452
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:50 am 

well, PPnM all had womany voices, Heino sings deep baritone.


www.amazon.com

pick up an album!
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Chris102
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Joined: Oct 09, 2004
Posts: 1228
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 8:52 pm 

I just listened to a sample on Amazon, and his music is good Yes Thumbs Up! Whistle Punk Kick
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Fire_Emblem_Master
Chief Captain
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Joined: Oct 19, 2003
Posts: 2452
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 10:35 pm 

Yeah, those samples are grainy, but they kind of show what he's about.
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tomthetank
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Joined: Aug 24, 2003
Posts: 3583
Location: Newport S/Wales
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 12:00 am 

Ah, that takes me back, I have'nt heard anything like that for Ermm... 20 odd years Embarassed

Ah, die Leder Lederhosen Bande. Der Schlagen von thights und Gesäß
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Fire_Emblem_Master
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Joined: Oct 19, 2003
Posts: 2452
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 12:11 am 

Buy an album!!!
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tomthetank
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Joined: Aug 24, 2003
Posts: 3583
Location: Newport S/Wales
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 12:16 am 

NO
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Fire_Emblem_Master
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Joined: Oct 19, 2003
Posts: 2452
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 12:28 am 

why the heck not?
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tomthetank
Chief Captain
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Joined: Aug 24, 2003
Posts: 3583
Location: Newport S/Wales
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 12:46 am 

Very Happy Im only joking Laughing

I stayed in Germany for a few months and that type of music was on TV every night.
Its not bad,its just not my cup of tea

For you to be such a huge fan,do you speak,or understand German? And how did you come to find out about him?
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Fire_Emblem_Master
Chief Captain
Chief Captain

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Joined: Oct 19, 2003
Posts: 2452
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 1:57 am 

Well, I'm in German 1, and half year into that. I dont' know a lot, but from reading lyrics and translations, i know a tad more than most at first half of the year.

The HEINO FIND STORY;


I was searching for a german version of the awesoem song Edelweiss. You know, the one from "Sound of Music". Well, one was "German-Heino, Edelweiss" so i downloaded it. BAM, I was hooked. Next song was "Hoch auf dem Gelben Wagen", then more and more, and i started buying albums!
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