A very good joke

Hello guys! I found this joke about flight attendants on my VA's forum. 😂

To: All Qantas Flight Attendants over 35 years of age

Subject: Early Retirement.

Due to the current restructuring and possible future redundancies, Qantas Cabin Crew Team Leaders have held meetings and decided to implement a scheme to nominate all employees over 35 for early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged Personnel Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Management for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). The situation of employees who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme for Retired Early Workers). An employee may be RAPED only once, SHAFTED twice, but SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Employees who have been RAPED can apply to get AIDS (Additional income for Dependant Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retiring Personnel Early Severance) . Obviously, an employee who had AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Employees staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives it employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Team Leader. He has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

There is no need to apply, though no notice will be given, Management assures all crew that they will know if they are being RAPED, SCREWED or SHAFTED. Many crew have expressed concern that the scheme is already in place and has been for some years, this is untrue, it WILL (When & If Lesley Likes) be implemented.

Consider this your notice.