I used to give this briefing to a charter group. A bunch of construction workers that I flew to a site every week.
"Thank you for flying with us. This flight will be about 45 minutes. If it is shorter than this, you will find a life preserver under your seat (The flight was over water) In the event of an emergency, please stay in your own seat until we can safely exit.
There are 3 exits on board, not including the one that you may make yourself depending upon how bad you need to get out.
There is no smoking on board unless you are on fire. And in that case there is a fire extinguisher right here.
Keep your seat belt fastened at all times. If you don't have a seatbelt, one will be provided to you. This isn't BurgerKing. You don't get it your way. You do it our way. So! Sit down, Shut up and have a nice flight and don't touch anything!"
Keep the dirty side down!!
Did you ever think about a career in public relations or Customer Service?
I WOULD never say such a thing to the 'public'. I knew all those guys, flew with them many times and they were all very well aware of the proper brief.
Oh man, that's sweet! I'm gonna remember that if I ever become a pilot
I'm going to show my friends that one! Thanks for that.
Right on guys.